The Gift of Belonging

What's more important than a Gift?

When I was growing up, I couldn’t wait for Christmas.  Each year seemed longer than the previous one as I looked forward to what Santa left behind under the tree.  The majority of the time I didn’t get the gift that I had written to Santa about but that didn’t matter.  At least he had left me something under the tree.

Growing up in poverty can cause Christmas to be a lot less fun when you see the nice gifts that other kids have, not to mention the stress that the parents have to endure. I was blessed to have gifts under the tree on many Christmas mornings.  However, we did have our share of quite a few Christmases where we debated about even decorating as we had no money for gifts or even a wonderful Christmas dinner.

As children, my aunts and uncle, who were a few years older than me, seldom had gifts under the tree.  Homemade Christmas decorations were made from paper, buttons, or whatever else they could find.  A scrawny pine tree that my uncle had dug up served as the centerpiece on a few occasions. Strangely, my Grandma somehow always managed to make delicious Christmas desserts, rolls, and breads from out of nothing. It was if she had magically whipped them up out of dirt.  I can remember a few times when I went with my aunts and uncle to the Salvation Army in South Jackson, KY.  A ministry would host a Christmas party in a big gymnasium where Santa would be there.  The children of Jackson would sometimes get coats, clothes, toys, and a bag filled with fruit and nuts.

As usual, our stressful times mainly came from school.  Every year at LBJ Elementary, our class had the option of picking names so that the students could give one another presents. What kid doesn’t want a present? Naturally almost all kids wanted to draw names. The name you picked was to remain a “secret” until the day of gift giving. 

Of course I always threw my name in the bucket to be picked even though my mom had warned me many times not to draw names.  Fearing her wrath, I waited until a few days before our class gift exchange to tell her the bad news.  A few times the gift I brought was wrapped in white freezer paper or aluminum foil with yellow freezer tape left over from one of our hog killings.  Once I even took a gift in a paper bag. Regardless, I still had to take a gift for the name I had drawn even if my mom made me give away a toy of my own.

Like me, my aunt was warned to never draw names.  My grandparents could barely afford food on the table, so buying some strange kid a gift was definitely out of the question. Yet my aunt could not contain her eagerness one year and she threw her name in the bucket anyway.  When names were drawn, she barely took notice of the name she held.  Besides, she was certain to get a gift. Unfortunately the day of gift exchange came all too quickly.  She had “forgotten” to bring a gift.  As the gifts were passed out to the children, my aunt excitedly opened hers. A doll.  Not exactly what she wanted but at least she got a chance to open a gift.  One child sat without a gift.  Tears ran down her face. She was the “forgotten” name that my aunt had picked.  Before the teacher could investigate names, my aunt gave the doll to the “forgotten” girl. My aunt cared less about some doll.  She was just happy being part of a group that opened presents.

The gift of giving is always an important lesson at Christmas, but the gift of belonging is even more important.  It’s not always the gift that we seek but the joy of unwrapping a gift of belonging.

No matter what gift you give or get this Christmas, share the gift of joy and love with others. Help them feel "belonged" even if they are strangers to you.

The precious gift at Christmas is knowing

that we belong in God's family.

Merry Christmas!

Spinning Out of Control

There they lay, taunting almost giggling at me, were my keys, shinning from the evening sun, in the locked Durango.  What was even more painful yet almost humorous were the backup keys were also locked in there.  Out of control? Uh....just a little!  What I did have control over were my emotions {almost}.  I was visiting with some new Christian friends, so my reaction to my locked up keys was much calmer than had I been alone in a parking lot somewhere. Stay calm, think, and pray for guidance. Most often these are not the steps I usually take.  I react with fear, anxiety, and panic.  On a positive note I was able to call a locksmith, which took him an easy 5 seconds total to break into my car and retrieve the keys.  Unfortunately my locked key incident cost me $70 and a little embarrassment in front of my new friends.

Back in October my doctor started slowly removing me from anti-depressants.  Although there has been an improvement with my weight loss, I find my self drifting back into that emotional roller coaster at times, like putting on old shoes that really don’t fit or feel comfortable anymore. For me, the smallest failure or let down suddenly can become a major drama attack within my own head. The sudden lapse of thinking clearly causes the tears to flow, objects to fly, and a negative attack against my own self.

Like most health problems, depression is not an easy battle. Being out of control of your own emotions can be scarier than having locked keys in the car. Yet just as with anything else that we don’t have control over, we have to seek support and help. This means simply letting go of:

• Self-pride and seeing our limits
• Shame and admitting we are powerless
• Guilt and accepting defeat

Admitting we are powerless is the first step in the 12 step programs and the root of prayer.

Accepting that things our beyond control but knowing that God can help is similar to retrieving the keys out of the locked car. The peace comes from knowing that there is no problem greater than God.  From health problems, job loss, divorce, marriage, having children, traffic jams, and even small issues with locked keys, God has control of all the issues.  Even if God’s time clock is not on our worldly time, He is always right on Time.  When we relax, accept that He’s in control and stop controlling the situation, He will guide us to the next step that needs to be taken.  We don’t have to be perfect or do things perfectly, just be….!

God is more than the Locksmith. He is the Key to our peace within.

Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;

Enjoying one moment at a time;

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

Taking, as He did, this sinful world

as it is, not as I would have it;

Trusting that He will make all things right

if I surrender to His Will;

That I may be reasonably happy in this life

and supremely happy with Him

Forever in the next.

Amen.

 --Reinhold Niebuhr

Fear of Change

Who likes changes???
My stomach ached with fear and anxiety.  I dreaded to start the day as I was tired from a restless night full of worry and crying.  This was to be a new year filled with joy, excitement, and new goals.  Yet I would have rather been swept away with the old year like a memory pushed under the rug. The year started off in a negative light - I had lost my dad, my ex had moved out, and my close friend and co-worker was leaving.  Everyone seemed to be disappearing right in front me as I struggled to cling onto them.  Many times getting out of bed was such a fight.  The only positive I saw was the weight loss from my lack of appetite with all of my anxiety and depression. This was me at the beginning of last year. 


Change.  Does anyone really like change, other than that clinging sound of the stuff in your pocket yearning for the vending machine? Negative change never fails to come right when life is going so great then suddenly life turns upside down.  You lose a job, or a spouse, a loved one, something close to you, or your car unexpectedly breaks down.  Perhaps the situation can be even more extreme such as losing a home to a tragedy like the big "F"s -- fire, flood, or foreclosure.


Even positive changes can be scary like getting a new job, a baby, or a new home. We wrestle with the idea of making the right decisions.  Should I take this route?  Maybe we feel failure, rejection, or that something bad will happen if we do  a "different" thing.  We stick to the same routine as we know what to expect.  However, sometimes the very goal or passion we yearn for in life can be the very thing we keep running from.

Change is unavoidable.  Whatever the case, life changes, whether they are good or bad, can be very scary.  Is there a change in your life that NEEDS to happen yet you are too afraid? 
That impending fear of going down a different new path of life keeps us circling around in a dirty pond with no room for growth.  Imagine if we never conquered our fear of change - stuck crawling instead of walking, stuck in the same rut of life with the same routine.  Step out Faith.

God asks us to trust Him, step out in faith, knowing that whatever choice we make, He will always be there to protect us. We can rest in peace knowing that when God throws unexpected changes in our lives, He wants the change to be for the good in our lives, to bring out the best in us. As Romans 8:28 states"...we know that in ALL things God works for the good of those who love him." After all, He knows what is best for us even when we think we know it ALL.

Take a new route in life.  God has exciting adventure waiting for you.