Spinning Out of Control

There they lay, taunting almost giggling at me, were my keys, shinning from the evening sun, in the locked Durango.  What was even more painful yet almost humorous were the backup keys were also locked in there.  Out of control? Uh....just a little!  What I did have control over were my emotions {almost}.  I was visiting with some new Christian friends, so my reaction to my locked up keys was much calmer than had I been alone in a parking lot somewhere. Stay calm, think, and pray for guidance. Most often these are not the steps I usually take.  I react with fear, anxiety, and panic.  On a positive note I was able to call a locksmith, which took him an easy 5 seconds total to break into my car and retrieve the keys.  Unfortunately my locked key incident cost me $70 and a little embarrassment in front of my new friends.

Back in October my doctor started slowly removing me from anti-depressants.  Although there has been an improvement with my weight loss, I find my self drifting back into that emotional roller coaster at times, like putting on old shoes that really don’t fit or feel comfortable anymore. For me, the smallest failure or let down suddenly can become a major drama attack within my own head. The sudden lapse of thinking clearly causes the tears to flow, objects to fly, and a negative attack against my own self.

Like most health problems, depression is not an easy battle. Being out of control of your own emotions can be scarier than having locked keys in the car. Yet just as with anything else that we don’t have control over, we have to seek support and help. This means simply letting go of:

• Self-pride and seeing our limits
• Shame and admitting we are powerless
• Guilt and accepting defeat

Admitting we are powerless is the first step in the 12 step programs and the root of prayer.

Accepting that things our beyond control but knowing that God can help is similar to retrieving the keys out of the locked car. The peace comes from knowing that there is no problem greater than God.  From health problems, job loss, divorce, marriage, having children, traffic jams, and even small issues with locked keys, God has control of all the issues.  Even if God’s time clock is not on our worldly time, He is always right on Time.  When we relax, accept that He’s in control and stop controlling the situation, He will guide us to the next step that needs to be taken.  We don’t have to be perfect or do things perfectly, just be….!

God is more than the Locksmith. He is the Key to our peace within.

Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;

Enjoying one moment at a time;

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

Taking, as He did, this sinful world

as it is, not as I would have it;

Trusting that He will make all things right

if I surrender to His Will;

That I may be reasonably happy in this life

and supremely happy with Him

Forever in the next.

Amen.

 --Reinhold Niebuhr