My Christmas Gift to You

As I write this entry, I'm sitting alone in the dark trying to get refocused on the important things this Christmas.  It has been 3 1/2 weeks since my surgery. I am not fully recovered and unable to walk or sit up much.  It seems to be a very slow recovery process.

This Christmas I am learning that if you have family, friends, mental stability, health, and trust in God then you have all that you will ever need. With a little courage, you can conquer the world with these things.

Since my surgery I have been stuck watching TV for most of the time.  I have been bombarded with commercial after commercial. I am one of those rare few who doesn't own a DVR. :-) More and more the ads seem to avoid the word "Christmas".  So far Krogers and Home Depot seem to be the only ones that come to mind that even mention the word "Christmas".  Every year the world tells us that we need the latest and greatest gadget.  We are fed the idea that we need to get our children tons of presents.  We try to compete with all the years before.  Many have more than they could ever need or appreciate.  Today I decided to shut off the TV and write my message to you.

Most of us may have finished our Christmas shopping by now.  Unfortunately, I wasn't able to shop this year.  If I could I would give the greatest gifts that are not found in Wal-Mart or any other store. All I can do is pray for lives to be restored.

This Christmas I have a friend whose 11 year old daughter, who suffered brain trauma, who would like walk out of the hospital, and be fully recovered from being ran over by a car back in November.  I have a couple of family members who would like to return their Stage 4 Cancer diagnosis. To bad Wal-Mart doesn't take back items like that.  I have another friend who would like to be celebrating her baby's 1st Christmas instead of remembering burying him a few months ago.  A few other of my friends would like to find their family restored and no longer separated or going through divorce.  One of my dearest cousins would love to be celebrating one more Christmas with her Uncle Earl, who suddenly passed away at the end of November.  He also was a huge help to my mom.  What wonderful gifts these would be to find under the tree!!!

I admire each of these people's strength and courage to endure what they have suddenly been thrown into.  I believe that is their Christmas gift to me. When I get down and discouraged, I remember these people and the other tragedies in our nation. No matter the circumstance, we are not alone in our suffering.

Even though I would like to unwrap the gift of having my life back to normal, I have to trust the recovery process. I know one day I will look back and know this was the best gift God has given me - a time to reflect on Him and having my faith in Him restored.

No matter what is under your tree this year, remember the reason why we have Christmas at all.  Enjoy every moment of your health and your family.  Blessings to you....have a Blessed Christmas.

A Time to be Thankful ~ Day 20 ~ 30 God's Timing

The other night I had a scary dream.  I found myself walking along a wooded path.  Suddenly I came to a dark tunnel. There was no other route to take but through the tunnel. I was fearful to enter its dark passage way.  I hesitated but went forward anyway. Once I entered I felt the bright sunlight follow behind me. The more I entered the tunnel, the more the light continued to follow me.  As I walked along, the light behind me was so bright that the tunnel didn't seem as dark as it once was. I forged ahead facing my fear.  As I did, the smaller the darkness seemed as well as my fear. I awoke before seeing the way out but somehow I know the light would follow me to the end of the passage way.

This how my life has felt recently, like I am walking through a dark tunnel.  There's no other way around the tunnel but walking through it.  I have heard that analogy so many times before.  It's not until we are in a war of faith that those positive thoughts hit home. They become our shield in the battle.

My family and I have endured one stress event after another lately. Regardless of the stress, we have had not other choice but forge ahead.  What keeps me going is knowing that God will lead me to the end of this tunnel eventually.

Unfortunately I did not get to update my thankful series blog on a daily basis like I had planned. I am disappointed but at least I can say I finished it somehow.  Better luck next year.  Isn't that just like life though? Just when we think we got things rolling and going our way, somehow those roadblocks come in and put us at a stand still. We get angry when we can't do things on our own timing. God has a way of stopping us in our tracks and redirecting our focus.

I mentioned on Day 1 that I haven't been able to walk much because I had a herniated disc pinching the nerve.  I ended up having surgery a lot sooner than I planned because I was unable to walk. This is the worse pain I have ever experienced in my life so far. Yuck!  I am truly grateful that I had insurance and could get surgery.  I have had to let down my pride and accept help from my family and friends. I don't know how I would have made it without Aunt Donna, my cousin Amanda, and my friends Susan and Mike.  Accepting help is not easy for me. 

At times I have lost track on how important it is to trust God's timing. With things being difficult and chaotic, my faith has been truly tested. I wish I had the magic words to say to just trust in God's plans. But if you are in the middle of the battle sometimes words alone don't help. In those dark moments we must remind ourselves that all things are temporary. We are not alone in the battle.  I remind myself of all the other trials that God helped me conquer.  God has a purpose and a reason for the battle.  We may not understand His reasoning but one day we will.  We will come to the end of the battle and be grateful that He was with us all along.

I am learning that no matter what circumstances come into our life, we have to trust God regardless.  Continue to fight and forge ahead in the battle of faith.

A Time to be Thankful ~ Day 19 My Aunts

A lot of my thankful posts have been about my uncles that are so dear to me.  But honestly, I am truly thankful for everyone in my family - from my parents to my distant cousins.  Since I have no brothers or sisters, my Aunt Liz, and Aunt Donna, and Uncle Wayne were like my siblings growing up. We are close in age and even went to school together.  We had some rugged years.  Since I was the first grandchild...Grandma's favorite..there was sibling rivalry!  I was bullied often by Uncle Wayne.

Aunt Liz and Me

Although we fought like sisters do, Aunt Liz helped me a lot during my teenage years. My family and I had a tough time after my Grandma passed away, who meant the world to me.  I was so thankful that Aunt Liz and her daughter, my cousin Christy Michelle, was around to help distract me from Grandma Jean's passing, even if it was through fighting.  Aunt Liz always had hidden goodies to eat at her house and got me school clothes when she could.  I always thought she was so pretty but I envied the closeness she and my mom shared.  She is always able to make me laugh and will help me out whenever she can.  She inherited Grandma's great cooking and makes the best biscuits and gravy....and Fudge!  There is no one quite like my Aunt Liz!!  Like my mom, Aunt Liz doesn't share her emotions to much.  She doesn't sugar coat things and tells you like it is.  We don't get to see each other very often since I moved to Houston.  Regardless of time and space, that bond is still there whenever we do visit.

Aunt Donna and Me

Aunt Donna was one of the reasons I was able to move to Houston.  She got me my 1st plane ticket to Houston.  We became pen pals after she left KY.  As a teenager, I couldn't wait to get a letter from her.  She always made me feel important and special.  I have always admired her independence and courage to leave those hills.  Donna and I bonded much more when I moved to Houston.  If it had not been for her allowing me to invade her space many summer months during those college years, I don't know how I would have made it.  I wonder if I would have stayed in KY.  I could never thank her enough for letting me stay with her so many times. These years in Houston have allowed us to grow just like sisters.  Her stubborn independence and caring personality is something I admire.  She enjoys being the caretaker and being there for people.  Both her and Aunt Liz have such a sense of humor.  I think that is a gift all of us in the family seem to have.  Humor has always been our way of being distracted from the troubles and stress in our life.

In 1984, my Aunt April, my mom's sister who she was the closest to, and her family spent Christmas with us.  It was the first time I had met her family.  She had visited when I was younger but I had no memory of her.  I am grateful that next Christmas that my Grandma Jean was able to be with all of her children and grandchildren on what was her last Christmas. I don't get to see much of Aunt April who lives in Cincinnati, Ohio but thanks to Facebook, we are just a click away now.

My Aunt Minerva

The first and only wedding I attended as a child was when my dad's youngest sister, Minerva, got married.  My Grandma Ethel shed some tears but I think they were tears of relief more than anything.  I am sure she hated seeing her youngest girl being married off.  My Aunt Minerva is a unique character!  Her and her husband are truly made for each other and have been married since 1976.  Aunt Minerva is hearing-impaired and has a speech impediment. Being the youngest daughter of the family, my Grandma Ethel spoiled her rotten. She is stubborn as a mule but has a heart of Gold!  She knows no stranger but just don't make her mad.  She has temper that could fuel a fire.  I think what I love most about my Aunt Minerva is her sense of innocence. She has joy with the simple things - especially doughnuts!   I love being with my Aunt Minerva and her big brother Gobel Jr. when I go home to visit KY.

My love for my aunts, including my sweet Aunt Becky and Aunt Shirley, can't simply be described in a blog entry.  I could write a chapter or two on what they mean to me.  Our aunts seen you mature from a snotty nose cry baby, as my Aunt Donna use to call me, to full grown and hopefully a mature responsible person.   Some of them fill in the broken gaps of our lives.  Be grateful for your Aunts or those family members who make you feel special! :)