1st of the Month

Anyone who relies on government aid for money knows the joy of seeing that check at the beginning of the month. Back in the 90's, there was a song by Bones, Thugs, and Harmony called the 1st of the Month.  I loved that song.  I felt like the rest of the world finally knew what it meant to be poor. Growing up, my parents only got about $200 in food stamps. I don't see how they managed but we always had food on the table, a roof over our head, and the electric bill got paid.

Being in my hometown on the 1st was crazy! There were never that many people in town except on the 1st or at the Honey Festival. I never realized that many people even lived in Breathitt County. Rarely did I get to go inside a bank, other than at the beginning of the month. I thought only "rich" people went in there after the 1st. The lines at the bank and the stores would be super long. The two or three little traffic lights in Jackson seem to take forever with all the cars lined up.

Of course, life was good on our July 4th celebrations! After all, everyone had just gotten their food stamps and disability checks. One year my parents managed to buy a cheap little grill from Malonies which was small discount store much like Kmart or Wal-Mart. We couldn't afford much to go on that grill but the smell of the charcoal burning made me enjoy whatever was cooked. Naturally we always got firecrackers and sparklers to light.

Sometimes we celebrated the 4th with my grandparents. They usually brought the good stuff to grill -- steak, hamburgers, and hot dogs. Grandpa loved his steak nearly raw! I was lucky to even get to taste a bit of steak. There would be fresh stuff from our garden to go along with the fancy meat. Grandma's favorite salad was fresh lettuce, green onions, tomatoes, and bacon grease. Mommy would make awesome deviled eggs and we had watermelon for desert. Somehow watermelon just doesn't taste as good as it did back then. Later we would roast marshmallows on what was left of the burning charcoal in the grill. I would try to write my name in the dark sky with the sparklers. My Uncle Wayne would scare all the dogs with the firecrackers. So many times I remember sitting in the dark on that front porch listening to my Grandma's sweet voice telling me of her childhood stories. She and my Uncle Wayne always made me laugh so much. Those were the good sweet memories. None of which can be taken from me.

Unfortunately, there was no 4th without my dad and Grandpa getting a little toasted. Regardless of the little money we had, the two managed to get drunk somehow. Our July 4th celebrations would start off from a small quarrel and progress to giant fight. Regardless of how many times these things happened at the holidays, my family and I would be surprised as if we didn't expect them to get as drunk "this" time. Some fights were not so bad but some were scary.

Daddy normally was a quiet easy going person until he had drunk about a case of beer. Then his anger would come out. He would be ready to shoot or beat up anyone who made him mad. There was always drama when alcohol got involved with my family. Our family get togethers would be going great one minute and the next there would be tension, fights, and the fear if someone was going to get seriously hurt.  I suppose this is why I have this impending fear of losing the good feelings and the good things around me at times.

My hardships have taught me to be grateful for everything in my life. I have learned that nothing lasts forever. Money, jobs, people, and material things – these things are all temporary. There is more to life than getting a quick fix of happiness. People disappoint you, jobs end, and something new will come along.  Seeking the source of true happiness within me is an ongoing challenge.  Its accepting just what God intends to have for my life and giving Him all the Praise.

No one has a perfect childhood. No family is perfect. Yet I am so grateful for the memories, the lessons, and every challenge that God has placed in front of me. My race has just begun.

I can’t change the past or the bad memories but I can choose how I deal with it today. I choose to forgive and not be resentful when things don’t go my way. I relish in the sweet memories of my past. I focus on the positive and hope in a better future.

At times, things may look bleak in our country.  But we can focus on the positive. We can make positive changes and sweet memories for our own family. It's not about how much money we have, where we go on vacation, or what material things we may have.  Spending moments, making good memories, and cherishing our values is vital.

WE still have choice and a voice in our country. All is not lost.  God IS and will always be in control of our World.

God Bless America and Her People!!!!