Ugh….Another Year Already?

Happy Birthday to Me…. Happy Birthday to Me…..

Happy Birthday to Me…la..la..la!

In the past my birthdays generally kind of sucked. I rarely celebrated, other than with cake and stuff. Yet somehow this year feels different. It’s been almost a year since I’ve been alone and I am ok with that. The struggles of the past are out the door and gone down the road somewhere. Lately I have felt better about me and have more confidence than I have ever had in my lifetime. But the negative voices of the past still pop up and try to make me feel guilty for feeling confident as if I am so selfish. How odd that it’s ok for others to take care of themselves but not for me.

I received my Mom’s birthday card the other day and the pain struck me. The card had only my Mom’s signature of course. I was reminded that I would never again see my Daddy’s signed name on my birthday or Christmas cards. The sadness came over me once more. I started recalling the loneliness and struggles from last year. For a moment, my happiness evaporated. Just as I was about to drift down that depressing daydream, it struck me. We say “Happy” birthday not “Sad” birthday. Would Daddy really want me mourning and relishing in the sadness? Of course not! Daddy always wanted me to be careful and though he didn’t express it a lot, I know he wanted me to be happy and have the best in life. I can still hear his voice just like it was every time I called, “Hello. How are ya?” LOL!

Though he is gone, I still communicate with him and my Heavenly Father for both are watching the road ahead of me. I feel so grateful for my mom and the family I do have. It’s the little things that we seem to overlook and disregard as nothing. Each time I want to cry, I remember how great God has blessed me.

Be grateful for the little things in life!