A Lesson in Bad Choices

Recently one of my friends went car shopping for her daughter who will be turning 16 soon.  I was envious that her daughter got a nice Jeep Patriot but was so glad I was not the one car shopping.  Unfortunately, my ’99 Durango does have over 200k miles racked up so I may be car shopping too in the near future. I can recall the joy I had when I ended up with my Durango but the journey to get it was not fun!

In 2002, I had one more year to pay on my wonderful ’98 Ford Ranger.   I would be glad to have no more car notes.  The Ranger was pretty small and had no luxuries other than a CD player and A/C - a definite must in Texas heat! But I didn’t think it would hurt to graze the market.

Browsing through the CarMax website, my ex and I came across a beautiful neon blue Durango.  The price was pretty cheap and the miles were decent for a used vehicle.  After much debating, I finally agreed to look at the Durango.  9 times out of 10 when you go “look” for a vehicle, they usually sucker you into buying one on the spot.  I am easily pressured.

Neon blue crappy Durango!

I really liked the Durango after we drove it.  I felt a little uncomfortable committing to it but ended up getting the Durango anyway. I cried my eyes out as I removed my stuff from the Ranger.  It had been a part of my family for 4 years and looked all alone as we drove away.  I tend to really get attached to things!

 That weekend I was heading to KY for vacation.  I had made many trips in my Ranger before, alone with NO cell phone.  I was use to driving the long 17 hour trip. I had driven the route so much that I usually stayed in the same hotels every time. However, this trip felt different because I wasn’t at ease about the Durango.  We really hadn’t "bonded” yet.  I tried to shrug off my uneasiness and assume the Durango was newer and safer than my old faithful Ranger. I was wrong!

On Saturday evening, I was speeding down I-40 in Little Rock, Arkansas when suddenly the Durango was bouncing all over the place.  I tried to stay calm and keep control but the Durango was almost impossible to handle.  Finally I managed to pull to the side of the road assuming I had a flat. When I got out, the I-40 traffic flew by me so fast that I thought I would die for sure.  I nervously walked to the back passenger side.  I was shocked to see that my tire was not flat but instead was barely hanging on.  The lug nuts were nowhere to be found.  I was lost at what to do.  Before I could panic, a wrecker pulled up behind me.  I’m convinced that wreckers have some kind of magic.  They always seem to instantly show up out of thin air at the scene of an accident.

The wrecker driver looked at the tire and told me I was lucky to be alive. Somewhere along the way the lug nuts had broken off because they had not been tightened up enough on the tire.  My tire was nearly off the tire rod.  He loaded up the Durango and knew of a mechanic shop still open after 5 p.m.  After much crying and being scared out of my wits, the mechanic shop had me fixed back up in a few hours.  However, the mechanic shop as well as my dad advised me to take the Durango back to CarMax ASAP. They  said the Durango would cause me future problems.

So my KY vacation ended in Arkansas.  I drove back to Houston the next morning ready to tackle CarMax.  Unfortunately after arriving home that evening, someone broke the driver’s side window.  They stole my suitcase and a few other things. Gotta love South Houston!  I was so devastated.  Not only was my KY vacation ruined, I had thrown away my Ranger, got robbed for the first time, and now I felt like I was stuck with this piece of crap of a Durango.  

Some vacation! I spent the week fighting with CarMax and lawyers instead of seeing my family in KY.  I was scared that I was stuck with a vehicle that I didn’t like.  I was still mourning my Ranger.  I asked CarMax to just give it back to me and call it even. They gave me some bologna story that the Ranger was long gone.

That Friday, a nice salesman at CarMax called me and said they had found another Durango for me. Skeptically, we went to go look, besides what choice did I have.  The salesman led us to the back where the replacement Durango sat.   

She's got some dings but my Durango still looks like this!

She was a beauty! Tinted windows, leather seats, rear air, a third seat, and even radio controls on the steering wheel. She had all the neat extra features, less miles, and all for the same low price as the crappy Durango. The mechanics double checked the tires and all.  It wasn't my Ranger but I felt more comfortable the second time around.  I knew it would take time for me to warm up to her but eventually we became family. Everyone wanted to ride in the new Durango and there was tons of room. She instantly became family.

I have been through many struggles since then.  Through these struggles I can now see that God was always walking beside me.  I have learned that God somehow always gets us back on the road when we wander far from it.  We make many choices in this life, some we are proud of but others we would rather not remember.  Regardless of our mistakes and bad choices, each one is a lesson. I don’t like recalling bad memories or bad choices either.  Yet I am grateful that God has shown me how to forgive.  I can forgive myself and others of those past mistakes.  I can be at peace now knowing that even if I make bad choices down the line, God will still get me back on the right road and give me the confidence I need.

It’s been over 10 years since I got my Durango.  Like me, she has a lot of scratches, dings, and memories from the journey.  I know she won’t last forever but I am grateful for the memories we have made.

Enjoy the Ride of Life resting Assure that God is the One doing the Driving.

Satellite Dish

In the early 80's, satellite dishes were the coolest thing in Breathitt County.  Everyone seemed to have one, except for my family.  We were stuck watching a snowy PBS channel for the longest time since that was the only channel we got.  My favorite shows were Mr. Rogers Neighborhood (yes, sadly), Reading Rainbow, and Mystery Theatre because Vincent Price was the host.  I also Loved the movie "Anne of Green Gables".  I related so well with Anne walking home from school.

My parents had tried to order a satellite dish before.  However, the company would not install it because we were too "far out" in the holler.  They said we would never get a signal.  We were so disappointed.  Everyone in the hollers of Breathitt County could get a signal but not us?? It didn't seem fair.

Then, low and behold, in the summer of 1985, we finally got our satellite dish!! A new company came to Jackson and they were eager for our business. I jumped for joy the day it was delivered. Finally we could watch TV like normal people.

Our satellite was "cooler" than most. :-) Unlike the normal boring, white fiberglass satellite dishes, ours was black with mesh netting. We also got a remote box since they had to place the satellite dish high upon the hillside.  Most people had to go outside to crank the dish manually.  Daddy cut many trees and made a clearing for our new family member, "Satellite", to sit.  When my mom switched satellites on the remote box, I remember running outside to see if I could see the satellite dish move.

Suddenly, life was good.  Mommy watched TV all day long.  Daddy always had her searching for a Western channel or a western show somewhere out there on one of those satellites.  My mom was the Queen of the remote! She knew every channel on every satellite, from "G4" to "S1", there were so many to choose from.  I don't think she even let me touch the remote or change channels for the longest time. My job was to make homemade popcorn every night.  That's right...homemade popcorn - popcorn made in a pot, not a microwave, with lots of lard and butter!!!  Besides, we never owned a microwave. My parents didn't even get one until around 1999.

About 6 months into having our satellite dish, we started noticing that there were less and less clear channels.  Most of them had been scrambled by the networks.  There were lots of hoopla over satellite dishes, most of which I never understood at the time.  Turns out the networks were losing lots of money because people with satellite dishes were "stealing".   We didn't know it was "stealing".  We were just so happy to get to watch more channels on our TV. 

Soon the satellite era was disappearing.  By the time I went off to college, there were very few unscrambled channels left on the satellite dish.  My parents debated about keeping the satellite when they moved into the log cabin.  There was gossip and other tricks to get you to buy the infamous "black box" that would descramble the channels.  Some people bought into it just to find out later that the channels would end up scrambling all over again.  My parents never went for the black box. They instead was able to get a cable box and a subscription provided by some of the satellite and network companies.

I think about those scrambled channels when I am stressing or get bad news.  My mind tends to drift.  I panic.  Like those scrambled channels, I can't seem to focus.  With all the stress in our nation and in mine and my family and friends' lives, I realize that many things are beyond mine or anyone else's control.  From health issues, finances, and the state of our nation, there is only one solution - to let go.  Once I pray and surrender the stresses to God, my mind is no longer scrambled. He gets me back on track.  I focus and can see clearly again.

My mom now has two satellite dishes, Dish Network and Hughes Net for the Internet. She is still Queen of the remote and could never go without her TV. I am still not allowed to touch her remote! Strangely, with over 300 channels, she only watches one, Turner Classic Movies (TCM).   She told me recently that she hopes God has TV in Heaven. I imagine He may, without scrambled channels or a subscription you have to pay for. Besides, Jesus already paid the price for it.

God is the DeScrambler of our Lives.